Why have I been feeling so alone and lost lately? Is it because my professional life isn't exactly where I want it to be? Is it because I have so much going on right now that most times I feel paralyzed into inaction? Wait...that's a contradiction because you can't go "into" anything without some moving or sorts...I second guess everything.
I do not feel anything I have done recently is adequate.
What's the real deal with me?
I'd better figure it out sooner than later 'cause I ain't getting any younger.
January has not been the smoothest transition into 2010 I'd hoped it would be. Some internal conflict, feeling directionless and worried about a soon-to-be driving son. Not to mention, I'm still unemployed, albeit working from home with the husband on his business. It's been nice -I've LOVED being home especially on beautiful days or days the kids have a lot of activities but it would also be nice to have some income of my own (if you know what I mean). So I'm doing the interview thing again (I HATE the interview thing) but at least THIS TIME, my bullsh*t bar is very low. I won't be taken again like I was for the former company, FOR REALS.
My husband has ideas of areas where he'd like me to concentrate in order to help support the business and most times they do not always align with what I like to do or would want to do. However, today he did actually come up with something that I thought, "Hmm...maybe." Not sure I want to do it or if I'd be good at it (there goes that SECOND GUESSING thing again) but it IS something I dabble in currently in my spare (haha) time. But... if I don't try, I'll never know, right? I'll save this for another time.
On another note, I'm still very serious about wanting to do more photography, writing and drawing and have stumbled upon a site today that was SO inspiring - http://oneyearartjournal.blogspot.com/.
I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to do something like that every day. In fact, it's similar to what I'd hoped my second blog would be for me but I just fell short on motivation, not to mention time. So I will try it offline for now and see where it goes. If I feel like it's taking on a life of its own, then I will happily share with my blog friends.









